Welcome to My Simple Little Screwed Up Life
by NOTagentsofnothing420
Summary: The Winter Soldier, confused as his memory starts to come back to him in pieces, leaves the man he pulled from the water on the bank of the river. The man who refused to fight him on the Helicarrier, the man who he could see in his head, the man who called him Bucky. He comes across a house, a girl, & music that seems oddly familiar.*THE WINTER SOLDIER*BUCKY/OC RatedM for future ch
1. Chapter 1

My older brother was out of the country for the next year, a helicopter mechanic on an Army base in the middle east, so even though it was hard to be in his big house on the Potomac alone, there I was, moving all of my shit into his practically empty house.

Looking around, I laughed at the huge living room, with literally a lamp in the far corner, the couch I bought him when he bought the place six months ago, and a GIANT TV, compete with his infamous Xbox setup next to it, and closing the front door behind me with my foot, I thought out loud, "Seriously, Ryan? A little decorating never hurt, Bro."  
As I set the last box from my truck on the (again empty!) breakfast bar, I beamed and scurried over to the couch, ready to play some call of duty for the next couple hours, headset and everything. I was turning everything on and grabbing a controller, just putting my headset on, when I heard a bunch of explosions outside. I ran to the window, watching as these huge flying aircraft carrier type things shot at each other, and my heart raced as I ran back to the couch and switched over to the news with a few clicks of the remote. As I listened to the already frantic reports go even crazier, shouting about SHIELD and the war machines, currently blowing each other up just upstream from where I was, I watched the _live_ footage of, what they were calling 'helicarriers', smashing into the huge building I could barely see through the trees on the deck out back earlier.  
I relaxed a little, at least knowing that I want going to get smashed by some shit falling out of the sky, as I watched the last heli-whatever fall into the river upstream and feeling a little safer, I kicked off my sneakers and set them beside the couch. After turning the Tv off, I got up and walked over to the kitchen, fishing my Ipod out of my purse Id put on the counter earlier. I plugged it into my brother's Ihome on the counter by the fridge, blasting the volume as I smiled at the song the came on the shuffle, singing along to Foxes _Holding Onto Heaven_ as I started to unpack. I reached for the box on the breakfast bar, grabbing the picture frame set on top inside and setting it by the sink, I smiled as I thought about the picture of me and Ryan inside.

I'd had some guy in his platoon take it the day he left, just before they got on their first plane of many. His big arm was wrapped around my shoulder as I smiled up at him, my dark brown waves fading into a lighter brown ombre at the ends as my hair fell over my shoulder. Looking down at the ends of it in between my fingers, I smiled at how much longer it was in just six months, but I snapped out of my thoughts as the song changed to Sia's _Chandelier_, and instantly, I was singing and dancing around the kitchen as I put a bunch of assorted soda cans I brought in the incredible overstatement of a refrigerator.

After the song ended, I had finished putting away the snacks in the upper cabinets, and coming down from the top of my step stool, I changed the song to something less intense and grabbed a soda from the fridge. I sung along to Judy Garland's _I Ain't Got Nobody_ as I walked across the house and opened the sliding glass door, leaving it open to hear the music as I sat on the patio couch, yet another present from me, in the shade and stared up over the trees at the black smoke billowing up into the sky. I sighed, popping my soda open and taking a sip before I sat back and sang along.

"Romeo had Juliet,  
And Louis the Sixteenth had Antoinette,  
But I ain't got nobody,  
And nobody's got me,"

I smiled, loving the way the trees rustled loudly in the wind over the music as I stopped to drink some of my soda, and kept singing.

"Abercrombie has his Fitch,  
But here I am crying and sitting and sighing with no one at all,

Hans had Gretel,  
By his side,  
And Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,  
But I ain't got nobody,  
And nobody's got me."

Taking another sip of me drink, I could've sworn I saw something move in the corner of my eye by the door, but when I looked a second later, there was nothing. I shrugged, rolling my eyes at myself for being so paranoid, but hey, aliens attacked New York last year and now SHIELD was, how the news described as "revealed", so I needed to be ready for anything and lighten up a bit. I mean, its wasn't like I couldn't defend myself, Ryan taught me to kick some serious ass in high school, and he'd made sure I'd been practicing when he'd gotten word he was being deployed.  
I'd been training whenever I could before moving from where Ryan and I grew up in an array of foster homes, leaving my job as a substitute teacher for the local middle school to take a better paying, full time position as the history teacher at the middle school a few blocks from my brother's house in Washington, D.C. (Technically, since it's is on this side of the Potomac, it's still Virginia.)  
I sighed as I stood to go back inside, thinking about how I'd probably be the youngest teacher at this school too and how I should just "rock this shit like I always do", according to my brother, and get over being nervous about my first day on Monday. I closed the sliding glass door behind me, humming along as the song shuffled to Tove Lo's _Habits_ and pulled the shades of the tall windows along the wall, before I went to the kitchen and turned the music down.  
I picked the box up off the breakfast bar and went to put it in the guest room, which I guess I could call my room now, when I noticed that my brother's bedroom door across the hall from mine was cracked open. As I set the box on the floor of my closet, I kept my eye on the crack of the door, before I saw a shadow move inside. My brother's parting words echoed in my head as I walked slowly to the hall, closing the door silently behind me as I inhaled and braced myself for a fight.

"_Caroline Mildred Clark, You better not do anything stupid until I get back!" Ryan called to me as he walked down the connector ramp to his plane, and with a tear in my eye as I smiled and shouted back, "How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you!" and as he turned the corner he shouted back, "Love you, Jerk!"_

"Who's there?!" I yelled, shaking as I braced myself against my bedroom door, and as I looked down for a split second, instantly there was a tight cold grip around my neck, slamming me into it. I could hear the wood splinter against the side of my head at the sheer force of how hard it hit, and as my vision started to go black, I felt myself falling to the floor, and before I was completely unconscious, I felt the grip from my neck disappear and strong arms lift me into them before I hit the ground. 

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**A/N: Hope you like it! Reviews are much appreciated :) Thanks for reading! Ill have the next chapter up soon! :)  
****I own nothing but my OC :D anyone notice that CA:TFA reference!? FORESHADOWING MUWAHAHA :)))))))  
****  
THANKS AGAIN! :0)  
****-*J*-**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I hope you guys like it!

R&R because it's the super cool thing to do :))))))

Thanks!

* J * 

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I could see it was dark through the shades as I woke up on the couch, quickly realizing that I was still in the house. All the lights were off, and the back door was closed, but it was night time already and as I sat up, completely untied and the electronics still in place, I figured the person who attacked me had taken whatever he was looking for in Ryan's room and left.

I rubbed the side of my head where it was slammed into the door, and in the dim light over the stove in the kitchen, I could see blood on my fingers as I pulled my fingers back. I stood carefully, making sure I wouldn't pass out or anything, and walked to the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel from the roll by the sink and wetting the corner under the faucet before I held it to the side of my head, hissing a little in pain when it touched it, and I mumbled a sarcastic, "Ouch."

I leaned against the counter and sighed, noticing that my Ipod wasn't on the Ihome anymore, before I saw something, or someone rather, move out of the corner of my eye.

I jumped, my eyes shooting over to the person sitting at the tiny dining room table hidden in the shadows the small light above the stove was making darker.

I could see his eyes, dark blue and intense as they stared holes into mine, and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as I asked through a choked cry, "So are you going to kill me?" I saw him shake his head "No", and I sniffled my emotions back as I held in a sob the best I could and asked, "You're not going to…" looking down at myself nervously in my tiny red shorts and black tank top, before looking back up at him.

He obviously understood what I meant, and was shaking his head "No" furiously, and I sighed a little. I still wasn't taking any chances as I continued the staring match, but I couldn't help but feel somewhat relieved that this guy wasn't here for rape and murder, or at least wasn't going to tell me he was, and I wiped my eyes as I said, "Why are you here? Do you need help or something?" but I really didn't expect him to answer.

His deep blue eyes were searching mine, as if he was judging whether to trust me or not, and I could feel curiosity getting the better of me as he slowly nodded in agreement. I was trying to stay rational in this situation, but my attitude got the better of me as I tossed the bloody paper towel in the trashcan and opened the fridge, grabbing a cold can and holding it to my head as I said, "You can talk right, because that might be a deal breaker."

I sat on the counter, the can against my temple with my head down, and again, I wasn't expecting an answer from him, so I added, "Ill help you, but you're gonna have to say something."

He was quiet for a moment, letting the tension hang in the air for a minute, before I finally heard him, his voice low and smooth as he murmured, "I'm sorry I did that to you."

I was more than surprised, and as I turned my head to where he sat at the table, I could see him standing as I mumbled just loud enough, "It's alright, I guess."

He started to walk out of the shadows, coming into the dim light as he stopped in front of me on the kitchen counter, one of my brother's spare hoodies fitting his muscular arm tightly as he held it out to me, my Ipod in his right hand. "Th-Thank You," I managed to stammer as I slipped off of the counter to my feet, staring up at his dark blue eyes, being only 5'3" in my socks.

He was tall, probably just around six foot, his messy dark brown hair falling just to his shoulders, and if he wasn't the guy who just broke into my brother's house and stole his hoodie, (before knocking me out with...wait do I remember a metal hand or something?) I would say he was probably the best looking guy I'd seen in a looooong time, so with my free (shaking) hand, I took my Ipod from his hand, letting my skin brush against his. I smiled as I inspected my Ipod, seeing it exactly how I left it, and I looked back up to his eyes as I asked, "You need a place to hide, I'm guessing?" His dark blue orbs were nervously searching my face as I smiled up at him, laughing a little as I said, "I guess that's a Yes. I'm won't ask, trust me, I get it. I can order a pizza if you're hungry, because I only have sodas and snacks."

He stayed silent, and I shrugged a little as I took a step back from him, not realizing how close we'd been until now, and pulled my purse to me to dig around for my phone. Once I found it, I leaned over the counter on my elbows as I googled the closest pizza place, and as I scrolled through the menu, I brushed my hair over my shoulder to look over at him as I said, "Since I'm letting you stay, you should tell me your name. Mine's Caroline."

He stared blankly at me, and I sighed a little in defeat as I gave up, but a minute later, he mumbled, "James..."

I smirked, standing up straight as I turned to him with my phone ready to call in the pizza order and asked with a smile, "Well James, what kind of pizza do you like?" He shrugged a little, his eyes going to the floor, and I laughed a little as I dialed the number and held it to my ear as I said, "I'll just get cheese and pepperoni."

He stared at me the entire time I was on the phone, and I tried to ignore it as I hung up, picking up my Ipod and scrolling through the playlists before I stuck it back on the Ihome.

I kept the volume low as Billie Holliday's _Crazy He Calls Me_ started to play through softly the speakers, and when I turned to face James and ask him if he wanted a soda or something, I noticed the look in his eyes, and written all over his face.

It was like he was lost in his head, and I raised an eyebrow up at him as I tried to piece together why the guy (who broke into my house, stole a hoodie, gave me a slight concussion and then accepted my help like I wasn't his hostage) was staring straight ahead blankly.

But my curiosity was short lived, for now, because a second later, he dropped to his knees on the cold tile floor of the kitchen, gripping his head in pain.

I practically ripped my Ipod out of the Ihome to stop the music, and dropped to the floor to help him. I put a hand on his shoulder, feeling his entire body tremble as he grit his teeth and yelled in pain. My instincts kicked in, and I touched him lightly to make sure he wasn't physically hurt, forgetting for a moment that he could probably kill me with that metal thing. My arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a hug, his head burying itself in the hair covering my neck on its own as I said super softly, "You're okay. You're gonna be okay, James. We're in this together, right?"

My hand brushed his tangled hair back a few times, and I could feel him relax a tiny bit in my grasp and I sighed heavily, hoping he might do the same.

I realized quickly that he was passing out, so before I was left with an unconscious ( and incredibly muscular and surprisingly heavy ) man in my lap, I said quietly, "Come on baby, you gotta stand up for me, so I can get you to the couch. You're too heavy for me to carry."

Unexpectedly, he worked with me, leaning into even more as I managed to get him to his feet. As I held him up, putting his big arms over my shoulders so he wouldn't fall over, his stomach rumbled loudly and I laughed a little as I asked, "When was the last time you ate something?"

Somehow, I got him to the couch on wobbly knees and shaky legs, and I raised an eyebrow at his strange combat boots and kevlar-like pants as I laid him out and put a pillow under his head. I knelt beside him, and with one hand, pushed the long brown hair out of his eyes.

"What happened to you, James?" I thought aloud, and as he started to murmur in some strange language, I shushed him, putting a hand on his arm to get him to calm down.

It worked, and in a few seconds, he was out like a light.

I leaned my back up against the couch, being careful I didn't wake him as I let my head roll back and rest against his arm behind me, and drew circles in the carpet beneath me as I waited for the pizza guy.

I didn't want to turn the TV on, just in case. I couldn't say for sure, but I was almost certain that the music was what caused James's mini meltdown.

I hadn't seen someone react to music like that since my first job, when I was fifteen and I started working at the nursing home with my seventh foster mom, Shireen.  
She put on a record from the thirties one time, and this old man must've recognised the song as it started to play. He had one of the worst seizures I'd even seen.  
Why would James react like that? And to a song from the forties?

I was thrown back into reality a few minutes later by the ring of the doorbell.

Pizza. _Finally_. 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry about the wait! My computer died and magically came back to life, so here I am again!

Little bit of news, I MET RICHARD MADDEN! IN REAL LIFE!

IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING HE HUGGED ME

I WAS PHYSICALLY SHAKING IT WAS GREAT!

Im debating whether to put the picture up as my profile photo. Let me know what you guys think!

As you can tell, I a huge GoT fan (I have Khaleesi tattooed on my forearm, its baddass) so I had to throw some of that in here. :)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but my OC :))) shoutout to my dawg George R.R. & HBO, I LOVE YOU. DONT SUE ME.

Happy reading :D

*J*

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I was halfway through my third pizza slice, sitting on the floor watching _Game of Thrones_ on DVD with the sound off, when James woke up, instantly sitting up on the couch and getting my attention. "You want some pizza?" I asked with a smile as I set my slice on my paper plate next to me on the carpet and went to the kitchen to get him some.

I wasn't surprised when he only nodded. Obviously I would be doing most of the talking between the two of us.

Coming back into the living room, I handed him a plate of his own with a few slices of pepperoni and cheese, because when I asked him earlier he just shrugged like he had no idea what the hell pizza was. I smiled as he took it, before I sat back in my seat on the floor, leaning up against the couch a few feet away from him, and went back to watching my show and finishing my pizza.

I noticed him eyeing the TV, and I laughed a little as I said, "You've never watched this show before, I can tell." His eyes met mine for a moment, before I felt myself blushing under this incredibly sexy man's gaze and looked back to the screen, trying to focus more on the Battle of Blackwater than James next to me.

I saw him flinch as the Wildfire exploded with that eerie green glow I'd seen so many times, because the more I watch this show the more I love it, and I giggled as I said, "At least I don't have the sound on. You might pass out on me again." I looked up at him from my place on the ground, and smiled brightly despite his look of wonder as I asked, "Do you want me to explain what's going on? Because seriously, I could tell you just about anything you want to know about Westeros and the Seven Kingdoms. This show is fucking amazing."

He shook his head silently, but before I turned my eyes back to the screen, I could have sworn I saw the corner of his mouth draw up into a smirk, but I couldn't be sure, with his dark hair acting as a curtain casting a shadow on his face with the light from the TV.

When the credits started to roll, and I instinctually started humming the music, I gathered both of our now empty plates and went to the kitchen to throw them away.

I am absolutely in love with paper plates, and plastic silverware (Plasticware?). They're just so easy, and what's not to love about convenience? I barely ever have to do dishes, which is great, because I HATE doing the dishes with a deep passion.

As I opened the fridge, lighting the place up a little more (when the hell did it get so dark in here?) as I called to James on the couch over my shoulder, "Do you want a water or something? I have Dr. Pepper too, if you want."

Hearing nothing for a moment, I sighed as I pulled a can of soda out for myself, but stopped with my arm reaching in the fridge as I heard him answer, "Water...please…"

I was beaming as I grabbed my drink and a water bottle from the fridge as shut the large door, and as I walked over and handed it to him, I was strangely excited.

The blow to my head must've really fucked me up...wasn't I supposed to be freaking the fuck out? Nevermind the fact that this James guy is drop dead gorgeous, with that angel muffin baby face and lost dark blue eyes that seem to lock with mine every time I look at him.

Seriously, I would do unspeakable things to this man. If he didn't just break into my house, attack me, have some kind of episode, and then eat pizza with me while I watched my favorite show.

I tried not to focus on how happy I was that he actually said something to me, and how damn attractive his voice is, as I sat on the other end of the couch this time and picked up the remote, changing it over to the TV and putting on _Criminal Minds_ reruns.

I popped my soda open, the sound echoing off the walls of the mostly empty room, and as I turned the sound up enough the hear Spencer Reid's genius at work, I could feel James looking at me from his seat on the opposite end of my couch and tried not to fidget.

I glanced over at him and smiled, and gathering up enough courage to talk to him, I said, "So, James…"

And then, silence.

Well, that went fucking great, Caroline. I wanted to curl up and die.

"Bucky." I heard him say quietly, and my eyes shot up from the floor.

"What?" I was in a mild state of shock. He didn't just say something...did he?

"I think…" he started slowly, those intense blue eyes of his flickering down to his hands, hidden in the pouch of the hoodie as he continued, "The man on the bridge...He called me Bucky."

"I've never heard of Bucky being short for James before, but okay…" I said as I sat up and turned to face him, pulling my knees up under me on the couch. "Why 'you think?'"

"I can't remember…" He answered, his blue eyes fixing themselves on mine again, "Sometimes I get bits and pieces, but I don't understand any of it."

"So this man on the bridge…," I began as I brainstormed, "If you are who he thinks you are, Bucky or James or both, maybe he knows you? Like from before you can remember?"

"I knew him…" James mumbled as his eyes darkened and dropped to the carpet, but I wasn't having that. I'd just started this conversation and there was no way in hell I was just going to let him retract back into himself.

"Hey…" I said with a sweet, but serious, voice as I moved closer to him across the couch and put a hand on his arm, holding in the swoon I would have done as I felt his muscles tense under the this fabric of the black hoodie and locked his intense gaze with my own as I said, "You know him. You just don't remember at the moment, and I get the feeling that's not your fault. So, let me show you to where you can sleep while you're here and tomorrow, I'll help you find this guy from the bridge and work on getting your memory back."

I didn't need a reply. The smile he broke into was more than enough.


	4. Chapter 4

I yawned as I sat up in my brother's huge bed, my lower half wrapped in the comforter somehow as I sat up, using one hand to block the light filtering in through the slits in the blinds from my eyes. I untangled myself from the blanket and went into the bathroom attached to Ryan's room, pulling my hair up into a bun with the emergency hair tie I almost always had around my wrist in the mirror. My brother's closet was off of the bathroom, and I quickly pulled off my shirt from last night, sleeping in everything I wore yesterday except my pants, and put on a random huge System of a Down band T-shirt that went to just above my knees.

I walked down the hall and into the kitchen, getting stuff out for coffee as I grabbed my Ipod and scrolled through it. I smiled when I found a song and quickly put it on the Ihome for it to start playing, making sure the volume was low as I remembered my guest, who I guessed was still sleeping.

Something was telling me to help Bucky, against my better judgment. It hurt to see someone so lost, like he was before he dropped to kitchen floor. I was thinking about who this 'man on the bridge' could be and how the hell I was gonna find him in this big city as I sung along to the music playing faintly and set to work making coffee for the two of us,

"_But sometimes, I just want somebody to hold  
__Someone to give me their jacket when its cold  
__Got that young love even when we're old  
__Yeah sometimes, I want someone to grab my hand  
__Pick me up, pull me close, be my man  
__I will love you till the end_

_So if you're out there I swear to be good to you  
__But I'm done lookin', for my future someone  
__Cause when the time is right  
__You'll be here, but for now  
__Dear no one, this is your love song…"_

  
When I turned around with the coffee pot to get water from the sink, I was met with those dark blue eyes again, but in this light, I could really see them and all their brilliant glory.

Bucky was staring at me with a shy smile, standing a few feet away on the other side of the breakfast bar, and as I stopped suddenly, afraid that my knees might just give out from the amount of gorgeous this man had naturally pouring off of him, I smiled as I said lightly, "Morning. Coffee?"  
He nodded and as I went back to the task at hand, I poorly attempted to try and hide how flustered James was making me. As I put in the coffee filter, my hands were shaking.

If he keeps smiling at me, I'll never keep this up.

The song changed to The Foo Fighters _Everlong_, and as I made two cups of coffee and set the cups on the small table in the kitchen where Bucky was sitting, I hummed along and tried not to embarrass myself in front of him more than I had already today. It's only 9:50, and I'm already mortified.  
I brought a spoon, the sugar bowl I'd brought from home, and the half 'n half from the fridge to the table and sat to Bucky's left, smiling as I motioned for him to go ahead and help himself first. As he did, I asked, "So, I was thinking...about how we're gonna do this."  
He looked up at me as he passed the sugar bowl to me, signaling me to go on, and I did as I put a shit-ton of sugar into my coffee. "Have you tried Google? Because that would be my first guess."

Bucky stared at me like I was speaking gibberish, and I giggled a little as I took the creamer from him, "I'm taking that as a big NO."

"What's a Google?" he asked seriously, looking at me like some kind of alien. "The world's biggest search engine? Where you go when you need to find something, whether it's about yourself or someone else, or a word, or a thing, literally anything!" I answered in shock, and by the look he was giving me, I was talking more to myself than to him as I asked, "You have no clue what I'm talking about, do you?"

"No clue." He replied politely, and I couldn't hold back my smile at that. I ran over to my suitcase on the other side of the living room and in a flash, I was back at the table, sitting in my chair next to Bucky as I opened my laptop. "Well Bucky, welcome to the Internet."

I was about halfway through my cup of coffee about ten minutes later, when I got the idea to Google search Bucky, who sat quietly to my left drinking his coffee. I typed in James Bucky and hit enter, and when I found what I was pretty sure I was looking for, I clicked on it as I muttered, "Bingo."

_Sergeant James "Bucky" Buchanan Barnes  
__March 10th, 1917 - November 27th, 1945_

_Howling Commandos member and childhood friend of Captain Steven Rogers_

I held back a gasp as I started digging around, only to find an article about Sergeant Barnes's memorial at the Smithsonian in D.C. with a photo of the man sitting next to me at the center of the page. I clicked on it, and it started a slide show. I knew it was him, despite the shorter hair and bright smile, in all of these old pictures, standing next to Captain America.

"Hey James," I said to get his attention, turning the laptop towards him, "I think I found you."

"That's him…" he said as he pointed to Captain Rogers on the screen, "The man from the bridge."

"Alright, let me do some digging and I'll see if I can find a phone number for him somewhere." I said with a smile as I shifted my computer back towards me. And with determination, I set to work scouring the internet for the phone number of Captain Fucking America.

I didn't even want to think about how Bucky supposedly died in 1945. Things couldn't get weirder if they tried.

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**A/N: Song is Dear No One by Tori Kelly :))))**

**Thank you to those who left some feedback! If you have any ideas or comments or anything, PLEASE review :)) **

**I couldn't find an exact date that Bucky fell from the HYDRA train in 1945, so I made one up :D dont hate me if i got it wrong **

**Thanks!**

*** J ***


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